You Know It’s The Holidays When…

After withdrawing cash from the ATM, the account balance on your receipt forces you to rush back to work and go online to check your account activity. You are ready to call the bank to inform them that your account has been compromised and someone has depleted your funds. This can be the only explanation for the balance amount. And it turns out you are right. Someone has depleted your funds. You. All you.

You devour three Hershey’s Kisses Candy Canes in your office before you even take off your jacket in the morning.

You’re wearing the same “outfit” to work that you wore to run errands this weekend.

You’re watching people eat bugs and swim in cow blood. I guess it’s subjective in terms of what television makes you puke. JB would probably say Grey’s Anatomy or The Bachelor are pretty nauseating. However, it is only when those and all the other shows are on holiday hiatus that you may find Fear Factor acceptable television.

You think obsessively about what you are going to wear to spend the holidays with your future in-laws. Will the grandmothers think this sweater is fashionable? How many pairs of boots fit in my suitcase (Do I need every pair I own?)? Did I wear this last year? Are these pajama bottoms cute for Christmas morning?

Above else, you are steeped in tradition. One of my personal favorites is the Secret Santa-esque gift exchange my high school friends and I arrange every year. We do everything through the great website Elfster. This year, JB and I hosted a potluck brunch for the exchange. Check out the tortas JB made (one with sausage and one with chicken sausage for his kosher-style fiance!). I was so impressed, especially because he did it all with me pacing and stressing that we wouldn’t be ready for our guests. I like to call that the “front of house” duties.

The friend who was assigned to me got me exactly what I wanted — an Amazon gift card. I had depleted it five minutes after our guests left to purchase the books I want to read over the break — The Marriage Plot and In the Garden of Beasts. I’ve been longing for some reading downtime and will review them on the blog once I finish them.

This is truly a fun, stressful, busy, relaxing, gorgefest time of year. I hope it is the same for all of you. And with permission to post, on behalf of the future Mr. and Mrs. JB, best wishes for a happy and healthy holiday season and a wonderful new year!


13 responses to “You Know It’s The Holidays When…

  1. I SO hear you on the depleting the bank account one! I’ve done that and all I can say is I’m glad I’ll be getting some cash this weekend! The tortas look amazing! And by the way, my sisters and I used to do our Hanukkah gift exchange through Elfster. Happy Hanukkah!

  2. Thanks for the hint to check out Elfster. I’ll have to look it up. Happy Holidays!

  3. I love the sign-off! so excited for you that you’re joining a family that will give you the Christmas tradition I know you’ve secretly longed for!! 😉 love you future Mrs. JB!!!

  4. Ola Ozranov-Palchik

    Happy holidays future mr. and mrs. JB! You are lovely!!!

  5. Take a deep breathe and relax!!! Everything will be just fine!!! Enjoy every moment!!! Happy Holidays!!!

  6. Pingback: How Words With Friends Stole Christmas | Balance Overload

  7. Oh lady, I hear you loud and clear. Even though this holiday season has been quite the sedate one, I still feel like I’m on the hamster wheel–dying to get off! I love that picture of you and JB! What a lovely couple! 🙂

What Are You Thinking?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s