I was inspired to write this post as I stared at my ceiling wide awake in bed at 7 a.m. the day after Thanksgiving. Normally, I would be sleeping in on this day off work and sleeping off the calories I dismissed in the name of celebration the previous night.
But I was wide-eyed and alert because the boyfriend, JB, had somewhere to be. It may only be 33 degrees outside, but the golf course awaits. When JB entered my life more than 7 months ago, so did his
obsession passion. His commitment to early morning tee times, less-than-ideal playing conditions (I won’t spend more than 10 minutes outside once it goes below 60 degrees), and the overall frustration one endures when trying to conquer an unconquerable game astounds me. It also reflects the dedicated, focused and goal-oriented side of JB that is just one reason he rocks so much.
But this isn’t an ode to JB. It’s to golf. And golf is, like, really hard. I had never played before meeting JB, but have since gone to the course with him a few times. I’ve stayed mainly on the driving range and as I practice my swing under JB’s guidance, players nearby can often hear him reminding me in an ever-so-gently manner to STOP USING YOUR HANDS!
See, apparently in golf, you use your shoulders to swing. Or your core muscles. Or telekinesis and prayer. I’m honestly not sure, and regardless, none of them have worked thus far. I always seem to use my hands and wrists which results in an out-of-control swing. Did I make it to my target? (No.) Did I hit it straight? (No.) Do I get overly upset about any of this? (Not really.)
Golf is JB’s passion, not mine. I love getting to share in something that is so important to him and it’s fun wearing collared shirts and saying things like “I’m going to the club.” But at the end of the day, this will always be his love. I respect this (I’m not perfect, I pout sometimes to try to get him to not go) and he respects that I respect it and does not abuse that respect. Now that’s a lot of mutual respect, which is hard to find.
In every relationship, finding a balance between time together and time apart, as well as how much your partner’s interests become your own, is essential for a healthy partnership. Golf has provided a built-in balance in our relationship. I look at it as not something that’s taking away time he could be spending with me, but rather time I always have to focus on my own interests (like blogging) and nurturing other relationships in my life. Before I sound like I am setting the feminist movement back, of course I could and do make time for these things aside from just when JB is occupied, but we all know how easy it is to let a relationship – especially a relatively new one – creep into that top spot while other areas take a backseat. I’m finding out in this one, that when two people have their own passions and can share them with each other, but also maintain them as individual priorities, it all starts to come together.
It’s also entirely possible that my positive outlook could just be a result of the days becoming shorter and colder and JB can’t play golf as much! Please kindly remind me of this blog come spring 🙂